I haven't actually seen Brett Favre's junk because I'm at work and deadspin is blocked. But I have heard endless hours of penis discussion on sports talk radio, so I think have a pretty good idea what it looks like. Am I close?Phil Spector's hair and an old turkey neck -- grizzled, gray, wrinkled and floppy.
If I was Brett Favre and I was going to use photos of my dick to snag a hot babe, I would spend some time getting my dick ready before I took the photo. First, I would clean all the pigshit off of it. Brett is always covered in pigshit. Next, I would trim my pubes high and tight. Then, I would rub in some oil so it was nice and shiny and get it as big and as engorged as possible. If I was Brett Favre, I would take 15 seconds and just look at my wife, Deanna, because she is drop dead gorgeous.
That's Brett Favre with his beautiful wife, Deanna. I'm hard already.After all my preparation, when my dick was looking its very best, kinda like this:
I'd take a photo of it and send it to Jenn Sterger. If you are going after a trophy catch, you have to use the right bait. You can't just wiggle an old worm in front of her face and expect her to bite. Hmm, ouch.
Damn, that Jenn Sterger is so hot she reminds me of Deanna Favre!!!
Wow, they could be twins -- if Deanna Favre was 15 years younger... They really do look a like.Wait one minute, is a 40-year old Brett Favre trying to date his wife when she was 25?
...damn.
ReplyDeleteMy penis sympathizes and whole heartedly agree.
though to be fair, the man can shit the money to get any girl off the street and have enough plastic surgery to make the silicon version of his wife out of Susan Boyle...or John Bolton.
Alpha,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment!
That would be a good premise for a movie. Instead of just taking the glasses off an obviously hot chick and teaching her how to walk in heels, the hero pays for massive amounts of plastic surgery.
Bob
I'd like to see what your wife or dvd girlfriend looks like...that's what I thought, get a life stud, go ahead and delete my comment so you can look like the complete douche that you are with your whole two comments....DOUCHE BAG, I'll be sure to post this on my post which more that two people look at, "melon" must be short for your mom...Melony, Alpha Za must be her friend Alphalpha....dumbass...
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment!
Pretty tough talk from a guy with a separated shoulder that hides behind some fake greek name, Brett.
I have an old Packers Jersey from 1996, if I send it to you, do you think you can sign it, please? You got so robbed. No way Desmond Howard should have been MVP.
Good luck tonight in Detroit!
Bob
Brett Favre is a living legend. Many athletes are great but very few make the needle move. Very few make you sit in front of the TV for hours, just because you don’t want to miss what they do, or how they do it. NOBODY, not even Peyton Manning or Tom Brady, bring the flair that Favre did. NOBODY shows more enthusiasm.
ReplyDelete